When faced with stupidity your first responsibility is to survive so that you might document and share the details of the specific stupidity encountered so that other rational people may benefit from you experience.
Below are some suggested actions to take when faced with varying levels of stupidity. These are not strict guide lines and if you are sharper than a bowling ball you will be able to modify your response to best fit the specific idiocy in the context that it is occurring. Remember to stay calm and document every detail of the stupidity no matter how trivial so that if rational people ever are afforded the opportunity of reading you account (however statistically unlikely this is), future generations will at least be able to say, "How in the hell did they stay so calm in the face of such overwhelming stupidity?!"
LOW
While at a low stupidity level try not to make any sudden moves and cover all shiny objects as the typical moron's attention is drawn to motion and shiny objects. Avoid moving shiny objects at all costs. Do not let anyone see you doing real work or God-forbid having an original thought as this will immediately result in an increase of stupidity based on the “no good deed goes unpunished” principal.
GUARDED
Proper behavior while experiencing a guarded stupidity level requires subtle actions on your part. Proper deescalating actions are highly recommended. A tried and true method involves making sure there is plenty of coffee and free dough-nuts or cookies made available, when possible place the cookies as far away as possible from your work space, although this will not likely reduce stupidity it will at least for a short period of time put some distance between you and the stupidity.
ELEVATED
During elevated levels of stupidity it is imperative that you remain calm. If listening to Enya or Zamfir King of The Pan Flute does not keep you calm try warm milk, valume, a single malt scotch, or all of the above.
HIGH
When levels of stupidity are high, the best thing you can do is remove yourself from direct exposure to the lunacy. One tried and true method is calling in sick, as in I am sick of these high levels of stupidity.
SEVERE
Severe levels of stupidity are often accompanied by a total lack of logical behavior, no common decency, no pride in workmanship, a total disregard for customer satisfaction, and attempts to shift the blame to the only competent people still unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity of the stupidity. Suggested courses of action include crawling under your desk, laughing uncontrollably, and openly working on ones resume in plain sight of the boss. If you are the boss and the situation is not of immediate concern we suggest that you establish a new division to ensure ISO 9000 compliance of any future stupidity.
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