Total Pageviews

Friday, September 14, 2012

Size brown shoes don't fit...


In the aftermath of the publishing of the book "No Easy Day" a number of folks in this administration have made some claims about policing up the release of sensitive materials. Sorry I had to stop there for a minute as I was laughing so hard milk shot out of my nose.

While I am in the process of writing a letter to SECDEF, I thought I would post something as my Blogging activities have been nonexistent for a while. The reason for this is that I have to consider an number of things before I put photons on this screen. What considerations you might ask:

  • Is the material Classified?
  • Is the material Sensitive?
  • Is the material ITAR Restricted
  • Is the material covered by Nondisclosure or Confidentiality Agreements?
  • Is the material covered by a US Federal Court Protective Order?
  • Is the material something that your mother would approve of?

While I sort these things out in preparation of continuing this blog as well as writing my book (I am sure a bunch of people at various agencies just did the "spit take" if they were drinking coffee...) in the mean time let me share two real fire extinguisher stories with you!

I was responsible for moving an entire research department from one facility to another back in 1990. The new facility was awesome, but like any new buildings it had some kinks to work out, little things like water leaking onto high voltage panels, and a fire alarm that would arbitrarily decide to go off.

I closed down the laboratory that I was responsible for (my title was Research Analyst III but I built and ran all the hardware in the facility) in 2009. For 19 years the fire alarm was never fixed. The problem was a sensor in an elevator. With the hot and humid weather here in south Florida when the humidity was high enough and the elevator doors were open long enough in the air conditioned hallways when it got to the ground floor the sensor fogged up and the alarm would go off. I kid you not this had to have happened hundreds of times in the 19 years I was there. It was not uncommon for me to work 24, 48, or 72 hours at a time and invariably I was there when the alarm would go off. EVERY TIME I would grab a fire extinguisher and head for the alarm panel, whip out my cell phone and call it in. I would stay on the phone as I confirmed there was no fire, temporarily reset the system and call out the maintenance crew to investigate.

I kept pointing out the "Boy That Cried Wolf" syndrome to everyone that would listen, the alarm goes off, no one cares because of all the false alarms, if there is a real emergency precious time will be lost because everyone will assume all is well just reset the system. One day I am in the lab and the alarm goes off. I pick up a fire extinguisher and head to the alarm panel phone in hand. This time I smell smoke, fortunately I had a key for the door where the smoke was coming from, I open the door (after putting my hand on the metal door to see if it is hot) and there on top of a wooden crate is a pile of newspapers clearly intentionally set ablaze! It couldn't have been lit for more than 60 seconds I must have just missed the arsonist(the door to the "secure" storage area was often left open while people came and went so they wouldn't need to check out a key, same for the "secure" hallway door to the parking lot always left open). I pointed the fire extinguisher at the base of the fire and pulled the trigger. The fire was out but it was so hot it was looking like the top of the wooden crate could re-light. So I ran back to the lab to get a second fire extinguisher (my eyes were killing me at this point, the smoke was bad but the powdered irritant in the fire extinguisher was worse). Fire truck was on the way at this point as I was on the phone with them the entire time.

As I emerge from the lab and head out into the parking lot to go back to the hallway door that led to the door to the storage room (I had propped the storage room door open at this point) I am reaching for the handle of the hallway door as I am confronted by a local law enforcement officer on a Segway. He looks me straight in the eyes and says "You can't go into the building there is a fire!" I had to keep from laughing (he was only doing what the manual says)...without stopping I held up the fire extinguisher with one hand and pointed to it with my other hand and said "We can talk after I put out the fire". Bill Engvall moment "Here's your sign..."

This second fire extinguisher story took place in the University of Miami dorms in 1984. I am in my room studying for a Calculus II test and I smell smoke (NO ALARM), I head out into the hallway (in those days you were allowed to smoke in your room if my memory serves correctly) I see the dude at the end of the hall he is clearly stoned or drunk or both, his room door is open and he is just standing there in front of one of those small metal round trashcans and there is a pillar of fire shooting out of it that is literally taller than he is. I grab a piece of wood (it was a length of 4x4 left over from the loft I built) and smashed the glass between me and the fire extinguisher, run down the hall and extinguish the fire. The dude in the room say "Dude that was crazy!". Just as I am walking back to my room the Resident Assistant in charge of the floor (his name was Bernard) comes running after me screaming...you can't make this kind of thing up...he says to me, "Why the hell did you break the glass?!" Here's your sign...

No comments:

Post a Comment